I should be sad but I’m not… not really.

Last April 29, 2009, I broke up with my boyfriend of almost three years. It was a really weird time. I thought we are going to get back together after a few days but its been 2 months already and nothing happened. So what’s a girl to do? But move on. And i did.

May had been a tough month for me. I missed him, I longed for him, I crave for him. His kisses, his touch, his love for me; I missed it all.  I still do.. sometimes. Sometimes, I regret breaking up with in the end, when I’m thinking straight, I knew that this is what I needed to do.

I love him, yes I do.

But as the song goes, “sometimes love just aint enough.”

I know that he loves me. He’s a great guy but a girl needs to feel that they’re loved. and that in the last few months, I felt like I’m unloved.

I always thought that he is the one for me that I don’t even care if he doesn’t make time for me or that I felt like I was taken for granted. I would think that, “Maybe he’s just really busy and I am just so idle.” and for most of our relationship, I had thought of that. And now, when I think about it… I’m such a martyr.

The first few weeks of breakup had been very hard for me. If someone would text me, I would JUMP. literally for my cellphone to see if  it’s Him. But unfortunately, it isn’t.

It’s been two months now and I really can say that I’ve moved on. No more dreams of him coming back to me. No more dreams of me coming back to him… which I don’t really want to remember.

A few days ago, he texted me and asked me how I am… It was really exciting for me, at first. But the excitement faded away.
I think I’m starting to fall out of love.

Which is a good thing right?

*i’ll fix this post later. I just have to let it out.

~ by che on July 3, 2009.