pick up those dirty clothes
WARNING: SOME ARE RATED R
If you were a booger I’d pick you first.
Call me Butterscotch, I’m smooth like butter, and I can make you hard like scotch!
Is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven?
Would you like a Aussie Kiss?
It’s like a french kiss, except down under!
im like a rubix cube. the more you play with me, the harder i get =D [this one only works if a boy says it though, lol].
“your eyes are so clear blue that i could just swim in them all day…”
“is that just your platform boots or are you so hot that your elevating off the ground?”
ill be the titanic and you be the iceberg and ill go down on you.
Is that a mirror in your pocket, cause I can myself in your pants!
You must be from UPS, cause I see you checking out my package!
guy: do you raise chickens?
girl: no
guy: well, you raise my cock
(said near closing time at the bar)
“Eh, I don’t want tonight to have been a total waste, wanna f**k?”
(amazed the hell out of me, but it WORKED! and no, that one sadly, wasn’t me sweatdrop )
“I just got this customized belt buckle, it’d look great pressed against your forehead!”
“I like your shirt, I bet it would look great on my floor.”
I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock.
That’s a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
Is it cold in here, or are you just happy to see me.
You must work at Subway, ’cause you just gave me a footlong
Do you like blueberries or strawberries? (why?) Because I want to know what kind of pancakes to make you when u wake up.
Do you have any Scottish in you? Would you like to?
hey baby, you got it goin on. now how ’bout i see it coming off?
Do you have a map because I got lost in your eyes.
You should hang in a museum because you’re a work of art.
hey baby, you must be a General because your making my privates stand at attention
my those boobs look heavy! may i hold them for you?
did you come from tennessee? cause your the only ten i see
are you an overdue book? cause youve got FINE written all over you
“Koochie is Japanese for lips, how about we use some tongue?”
can i take your picture? i want santa to know exactly what i want for christmas
your beauty was so distracting it caused me to walk into a wall, so im gunna need your name and number…for insurance reasons
if you were a burger at mcdonalds youd be a mcgorgeous
is that the sun coming up? or did you just light up my world?
lets make like fabric softener and snuggle <3
i lost my teddy bear, can i sleep with you instead?
life is like a dick, when it gets hard, fuck it
was that an earthquake? or did i just rock your world?
lets play carpenter. first we get hammered then i nail you
“We’ve all made mistakes, can I be one of yours?”
could you do me a favor, please tell your boyfriend hes lucky?
do you believe in love at first sight or should i walk by again?
are you going to kiss me or do i have to lie to my diary?
“I want to tell you your fortune.” Take her hand and write your phone number on it. “There’s your future.”
“I may not have gotten your virginity, but can I at least have the box it came in?”
“Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I’m here after.”
“Do you like Bacon? Wanna strip?”
“I’ve got some Skittles in my mouth… wanna taste the rainbow?”
“I’m just a love pirate lookin’ for some booty.”
“Fat penguin” (What!?) “I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.”
“If you’re going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.”
“My magical watch says you aren’t wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast!”
First buy an ice cream and find a hot girl, then say “I’m sorry to bother you, but your melting my ice cream!”
“The word of the day is legs. Let’s go back to my crib and spread the word.”
your dad must have been retarded cuz you sure are special
“What do you say we go back to my crib and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.”
“Your place or mine? Tell you what? I’ll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.”
Life is like a dick. When it gets hard, “f**k it”. “
“Love is a sensation, caused by a temptation, to feel penetration. a guy sticks his location in a girl’s destination, to increase the population for the next generation, did you get my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?”
“Sex is like Pringles: once you pop, you can’t stop. “
“I’ll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.”"Why don’t you come over here, sit on my lap and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up?”
“I have a six inch tongue and I can breath through my ears. “
“Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?”
“I’ve had quite a bit to drink, and you’re beginning to look pretty good.”
“If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?”
“What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?”
“You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You’re making the other women look really bad.”
you say “You look just like my first wife” she says “How many times have you been married?” you say “never”.
“If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever. “
“I may not be the best looking guy in this room, But I’m the only one talking to you.” wink
“I’m new in town and can’t find my way around; could i have directions to your place?”
“Did you know women are like parking spots? All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped. Which one are you?”
“Can I buy you a drink? or do you prefer the cash instead?”
“See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think im cute.”
“Nice Shoes… Wana F**k?”
My Favourite One..
“What havent you been told tonight?” xp
“you say “I’m sorry, but you owe me a drink” she says “Why?” you say “Because I dropped mine when I looked at you”
“If I were a fly, I’d be all over you, because you’re the shit! “
“If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.”
“Do you remember when you were a little kid and you wanted a toy really bad when you went to the store, but your mom wouldn’t let you get it, no matter how much you begged?? Well that’s how I feel about you.”
“It’s not my fault I fell in love, you’re the one who tripped me! “
“Why do you have to be so damn fine every single day? Can’t you take a break and let me concentrate on something else for a change? “
“Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by you again?”
“Could I touch your belly button…from the inside?”
“How about you come sit on my lap and we talk about the first thing that “pops” up!”
“If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays?”
You’re last name should be Campbells, cus your mmmm… GOOD
Tell me something, girl. Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?
Your name must be cheerios…cuz you seem healthy for my heart.
Girl are you tired, cuz youve been running through my mind all day
Is your dad in jail? Cuz he stole the stars and put them in your eyes.
I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?
Hey baby, You must be from Tennesee……..cause your the only Ten-I-See
Exuse me miss, are you a Hostess? Because you’ve got some sweet cakes!!
You Dropped something , “My jaw”
i need someone really bad… are you really bad?
“Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let’s play gynecologist.”
“Do you know what’d look good on you? Me.”
“Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated.”
“Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?” (No.) Wink.
“Be unique and different, say yes.”
“If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?”
Baby you are so fine you turn my software into hardware.
“The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name.”
Sex is a killer, want to die happy?
Did you hear the latest health report? You need to up your daily intake of
vitamin me.
The word of the day is “legs.” Let’s go back to my place and spread the word.
Do you have a library card, ’cause I’d like to sign you out.
Are you a gardner, ‘cos I want to put your tulips and my tulups together
You’ve got all the curves, and I got all the angles
I can’t make a cherry pop, but I can make a bananna cream
If you and I were Squirrels, I’d store my nuts in your hole
Man: we better get you out of those wet clothes
Women: what?
Man: [licks his finger an wipes it on her dress]
Man: those wet clothes
Is your dad a police officer, if so i’ll be visiting you a lot
Hey babe lets make a bunk bed you be on bottom I be on top
I’m no weather man but the forecast is calling for several inches tonight !
The only time I’d kick you outta bed would be to fuck you on the floor!
“Do you like Harry Potter? Cos I feel a Petrificus Totalus in my pants!”
“Hey baby, you look like a million bucks, let’s mingle if you’re single.”
“If I were Sauron, I’d make a ring with all my love and have you wear it.”
“I’m the Flash, so watch out, I move fast.”
“If I were a vampire, I’d nibble on your neck.”
“Did you know that 95% of women masturbate in the shower, and 5% sing. Do you know what song they sing?”
“No.”
“Oh, you must be the ones that masturbate.”
“Hey, my belt buckle’s stuck, can you help me? …Now, can you help me with my pants?”
(This one’s only for men taking to lesbians)
“Wanna go out?”
“Sorry, I like girls.”
“That’s cool, I’m a lesbian trapped in a man’s body.”
(Another one only for men named Lee)
“You like Naruto? They call me Rock Lee for a reason.”
“I hope I’m not being forward, but do you mind if I chew on your butt?”
“My love for you is like a red, red rose, and I’m a little thorn-y.”
“I’m good at math.
U+I=69.
“If I were a foot ball, would you touchdown?”
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